Daily Star survival guide to boozy Freshers Week carnage – start with breakfast
The infamous Freshers Week is about to hit the UK's student population in just a few weeks time.
From getting paralyticly drunk the second you step foot on campus or enter your accommodation, to regretting every life choice you've made right up until the moment a vodka shot hits your throat, many can struggle to adapt to life at university.
And for many, the idea of leaving home having been mollycoddled by their parents at every turn since the day they were born, is a frightening idea.
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So, the Daily Star has put together a hand guide on how to survive Freshers' Week and your first week as living independently, from the basics of eating to the more complicated tasks such as getting over a hangover and into your lectures on time.
Food
For the vast majority of students, they would have spent their lives with food just magically appearing in front of them without having any idea how it was made.
It might come as a shock to many to know that your parents don't have some kind of magic wand that produces three meals a day at whim – you actually might need to cook for yourselves.
Breakfast generally consists of no more than two ingredients per dish.
Cereal, which you can buy using the money you'll scrounge from the country with your student loans, can be made into a refreshing and filling breakfast by adding milk – alternative milks can be brought from supermarkets, but you're a student so it's probably not worth paying twice the price of normal milk.
If you fancy being really cheap, eat it dry.
If cereal doesn't appeal to you, try bread.
Presumably, your parents would have given you a cheap toaster to help with your newly-found cooking skills, so put the bread into it and turn the dial to three.
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Push it down, wait for it to pop up, place it on one of your shiny new Tesco-own plates and add butter to it.
For lunch, take two slices of the bread you found and add cheese to the middle of it after buttering the bread.
Congratulations, you've made a sandwich – for Michelin star levels of cookery, try putting the sandwich in the oven on 180c for 10 minutes and you'll have yourselves a toasted cheese sandwich.
Feeling the need for some dinner?
Well, you've got cheese and bread – go and buy some baked beans and you've got a cracking three-ingredient dinner right there.
Washing – clothes, not yourself
Like food, washing your clothes doesn't happen by itself.
If you're lucky enough to have accommodation with a washing machine, pop your alcohol and puke-covered clothing into it, get a cheap washing tablet from a shop of your choice, push the button that says “quick wash” and pray to whatever God you believe in that you've not permanently stained everything you own – if you have, Primark exists for a reason.
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Alternatively, if you don't have a washing machine, buy some travel wash and use your sink to clean your stuff following the instructions on the bottle.
But be warned, if could take a lot longer to dry your clothes if you use this method.
Hangover cures
Let's be honest, if you've made it this far into the guide, then you're probably a couple of cheap bottles of blue WKD into your day.
By the next morning, you'll be looking for a way to “MAKE THE PAIN IN MY HEAD STOP AND CLOSE THE CURTAINS”.
According to the experts at Ivory Research, there aren't many ways of helping with a hangover, but one of the best ones is to got back to bed and sleep . . . a lot.
But before you do, go and get some water and drink . . . a lot.
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A warm shower is also a decent tip from them, with an expert stating: “If you’ve never had a long shower while being hungover, you haven’t lived.
“This one will make you feel a million times better, so if you’re not feeling good, it’s a must.
“Drag yourself into that shower and make sure it’s nice and warm (not too hot though, or you’ll feel queasy).
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“The hot steam of a shower can be really good for all sorts of things, but it’s especially good when you’re not feeling well.
“If you’ve got lecturers to attend, freshening up is your best option.”
If all else fails, just keep drinking alcohol and nobody will never know any different.
Money
We'd tell you to budget and make sure you live within your means, but you're a student and we're not your parents so there's no point.
However, make sure you have enough money each week for food, and wait until supermarkets slap big yellow discount labels on things before pouncing.
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There's nothing wrong with buying discount food, as it will last another few days in the fridge and you've saved yourself a few quid in the process.
Turn off your emails from ASOS, too – you don't need to buy another pair of shoes . . . you'll be going to your lectures in slippers within a few weeks anyway.
Transport
Walk.
Seriously, stop being so lazy and just walk to university.
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If you're going to spend the next three years going there and back to the same place, and slobbing around on the couch when you're not, the best form of exercise you can do is figure out a route and walk to university.
Public transport is another decent option, but you'll need to save your money to buy bread.
Going out
Nobody will remember anything that happened during Freshers' Week, so feel free to wear whatever you want, drink whatever you want and do whatever you want . . . just make sure you know how to get back home safely.
And remember, don't come running to us when you've run out of money and food . . . you have actual family for that.
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